Friday, March 25, 2016

Three Things Even You Can't Deny

one If a person who never admits to weakness says they are in blinding pain,
be it physical or emotional, you don't get to say, "Oh no you're not." Even worse than that is launching the Scar Wars Game and wasting valuable time to outline how your pain is greater than anybody else's in the whole world because nobody has ever been wronged as deeply as you. Both these things are wrong in every way. Do not ever do this to somebody, unless you are playing the Scar Wars Game, and then: Roll up your pant legs and let the stories outta the barn, Baby!

two Should science and math indicate that you occupy a space on the globe that is, essentially, sunless and wet, it just makes
you look desperate and kinda thick to argue that "HUH.uh! It is TOO sunny and dry here all the time!" If it's hot and sunny or gray and hopeless: Own that truth and wrap it up around you like a blankie. Not everybody is going to love the same stuff and that's what makes it more fun. And, please - never argue with a scientist.

three If you get to live long enough, there will be times where you are just straight-up wrong. It's okay, I promise you're going to be okay. Your occasional wrongness does not define you as a human being. Sometimes we just get flawed data, or we hear and maybe repeat an untrue story... sometimes we just want to feel taller than the arrogant turd sitting across from us. Regardless: Forgive yourself and practice humility. ALWAYS remember and NEVER forget that you could be wrong. When in doubt: Say nothing. 
PS: Even IF you know you are right - if you find yourself in this position: Best to walk away and breathe through it. Do.NOT.feed.the.trolls.

© moemasters 2016 thesethreethings 

Thursday, March 17, 2016

one I would hope that I've mentioned some version of this already, but on the off-hand chance I have not - here's a little lifehack about the care and management of your Creatives, that could make your world way better. If you're lucky enough to be surrounded by artists and writers and musicians and whatnot, the MOST wrong thing you can do is say to them, "Y'know what you oughta do" while they are in the middle of a creative session. Sometimes it takes no more than those few words to blow up the mojo surrounding that piece and cause a Creative's brain to bluescreen from overload. If you have such great ideas about creating similar things, you should just create them and be very very quiet. 

(Personal bonus tip: Don't be the person who just "likes to watch" the creative create. I can think of few things in the world that make me more sick. Get a job. I like to watch you bring home a paycheck. I'm a Creative.)

two People always joke about "using their power wisely" but what they maybe don't know is that this is no joke. We have all power. We are power sources, like batteries but different and more fun. Every moment of every day we get to choose to EITHER be positive OR negative. There is no in-between. The moment you find yourself in another human's
company, you gotta know that there is an energy exchange and you get to choose how that works out for them. You're going to be whatever you're going to be, but the instant you share company - you get whatever you are all over the person in your wake. When I was a kid, like - itsy freakin'bitsy, my dad would bark "FLY RIGHT!" What he meant was get your shit together and act like a human being, for God's sake. When I was a kid, "Acting Like" things was a valued skill set. Somewhere between then and now, we stopped paying extra for that, but I still fully expect you to put on your best game face if you've chosen to occupy a world where other humans live with expectations.

three Choose your mountains carefully. Don't get all strung-out on every single fresh & minty cause that rolls your way. It's cool to care and care all the way to your bones, but you only get so many battles in the course of a lifetime, so choose yours like a grown-up. I'm sorry/not sorry to have to tell you this while you're
so young and tender, but it's probably best you hear it from me first... here, than from a stranger in an alley: The younger you are when you choose your mountains, the stronger your footing will be. I don't envy you the options you probably have, but I know you'll choose wisely, Shortysan. 

moemasters copyright 2016 ©

Tuesday, June 30, 2015

No Baby Buzzkills

one You can agree to disagree about things that you believe with people who are in your orbit and it's okay. It's not a contest and you don't have to be emotional and undone. It really is all good and, if you enjoy that person's company, you just agree to not discuss that thing anymore. You can figure out pretty quickly how somebody feels about something and if it's not what you believe and you really like their company - just ssshhhhhhhh.

two Be real. Get real and stay real. Don't say one thing and do another. If you think you are super-duper smart or religious or political or physically fit or philanthropic - just be those things and don't devalue them by telling anybody about it. If you're doing it right, everybody will know. When you talk about it, it makes it seem like you are insecure and
doubtful enough as to need somebody else's approval. You don't need that; You quietly got this.

three Please don't be a buzzkill, baby. I know it's hard to grow up or eat vegetables or attend things you didn't dream up, but you have to suck it up sometimes and act like you're happy anyways. You don't have to act happy all the time, that would be wickedly mean and ridiculous. You do have to have manners and know when to use them. If there is any doubt, feel free to read any one of the hundreds of short, sweet little bites of etiquette I have already shared here. I wouldn't have written them if I didn't love you.

© 2015 moemasters thesethreethings

Thursday, May 21, 2015

The Root of Three Things

one Moderation might just be the key to living a meaningful life. I am all-in for testing limits and almost getting arrested or nearly getting married, but I would hope that this fundamental piece of advice is way more meaningful than a key to The Estate where you can always seek refuge and store your boxes of high school art. For sure do the things that keep you contemporary. Occupy and consume and own and storm and drop and puff.puff.pass while you do ping-pong shots across from people who make your blood run hot. Do all of that just enough to know all the rules you are choosing to break.


two Tell The Truth and surround yourself with truth-tellers or be willing to age extra-super-duper turbo-fast and probably get cancer, often. This has not been scientifically proven to be The Specific cause of cancer, but I have my suspicions. It's an insidious slippery slope that starts with things like "I din't fart/burp or Everything is fine" and digresses with age and loss of bliss to things like "No.really You look great in those jeans and I understand why you hit me and... "  I know you and your delicate Spidey Senses and I know that you know when it feels wrong. Do not ever yield to the will of nefarious six-fingered bastards. Always ask yourself: "Would my Momo treat me this way?" 


three Be Patient with yourself and your expectations and expeditions. You are not really the boss of you in every single instance. There is a way to stay true to your wants and tend to your needs. Nobody but you knows, really, what you need and I know you are smart and clever and brave enough to make everything that matters happen. All of it. You got this if you just stay true and move slowly with patience, like a ninja. I love you and the way you get what you need.

© 2015 moemasters thesethreethings 



Sunday, March 1, 2015

Three Fueled by Cabin Fever

one Learn how to give and receive a compliment. When somebody says something like, "You look nice" or "You did a great job!" or "I love your shoes" or whatever, look them in the eyes and say, "Thank you." You can ad lib here and say "Thank you so much" or "Thanks, man" or something as formal or as casual as the circumstance dictates, but for sure acknowledge the compliment, receive it kindly and if you want, you can add something like "I worked so hard on that project, I'm glad it showed" or "these are my most fave shoes!" or whatever applies, but make it clear that you heard a nice thing said and you're grateful. In turn, get outside yourself enough to find something about the person you're with, to say something meaningful and nice. If history serves as any kind of indicator, you may find yourself with completely outside your comfort zone people who tell you stories that make your flesh crawl and a compliment can be the perfect good bye. Just say something like "Wow. That is a spectacularly scary story! Well done!" Compliments are sweet in their flexibility.


two If being happy is a thing that appeals to you - do that. Be happy. You're going to burn about the same amount of calories getting happy as you would getting sad or mad. So, it's all on you, little cowpoke. I love your guts so much, I would always wish happiness for you, but I know the release in throwing down with a good conniption fit or sobbing till you breathe funny. Don't whine about your lack of happiness, and keep the unhappiness contained because it can get on other people. You can get glad in the same pants you got mad in, and don't let anybody tell you that you have to be happy, ever. You be happy when you want, and be sure to keep the ickiness in your own space. 

*Unless you're with your best friend, then you should get all the unhappiness out of you because they will always love you forever and ever anyways and it's therapeutic.


three About visiting: Always make sure it's cool to drop by and don't show up empty handed. This is pretty much a very for real thing. I used to think there were exemptions like best friends or moms or aunts or something, but I was wrong. Without exception, when you visit somebody, take a little something something to say Hey, I love you enough to have thought about how lucky I am to visit you in your crib, so I brought you this little thing like a bottle of wine or some flowers or a hermit crab. It all depends on the audience, but be thoughtful and always make sure it's cool to drop by. You weren't raised by monkeys.

moemasters (C) thesethreethings 2015

Wednesday, February 18, 2015

Liars and Thieves and Boars. OH.my.

one No lies. Don't lie about anything. I know that you know I know when you lie, but what you need to know is that you might or might not come from a very long long line of genetically altered DNA that will make lies seem like a reasonable choice, sometimes. Lies are never reasonable. Really. Even the ones asked by loved ones that will make your heart ache to answer truthfully. Do not lie. Use your vocabulary and find the right words to be honest and kind. It's not that hard and becomes habitual after you do it often enough. And, I will always know when you are lying. Know that.


two No stealing. Don't take anything that isn't yours. If you want to borrow something, you have to ask first. And, IF you're asking for something that belongs to somebody else, make sure you have enough bank right now in your pocket to cover the cost of replacing it, (in the highly unlikely but probable chance you will have to replace it.) Yea. I know. Not fun. But, seriously baby. Papa Z wouldn't even let us LOOK at his stuff. The CIA clandestine lengths he went to, just to make sure nobody touched HIS stuff, were way way unreasonable. But, always a good reminder: IF it's not yours - DON'T touch it.


three Learn the fine art of conversation so you can engage in the moments that only spark once in a lifetime and only for those who participate. The process of doing this is much bigger than you have the attention span for, right now. But know this: If you stay informed and tuned-in to the life around you and you listen more than speak - you'll be golden. Pay attention to the stories that are breaking free and you'll never bore somebody into the next room at a party. 

moemasters thesethreethings 2015

Monday, January 26, 2015

Three in a Nick of Time

hey! I know it's been a minute, and boy is that true. I got busy, I made some people some money and stuff got large. But, now I'm back and getting ready to take you with me on an expedition. That's a long story for another blog, so today you get these three. I know you're pressed for time, I'll be brief.


one You don't have to say every single thing that pops into your beautiful little head. Just because you thought it, doesn't necessarily mean that you need to say it out loud (or type it for keeping forever online somewhere.) And, sometimes it's even best if you don't say it. The fine line that separates what you should say from what you should not say is slippery and requires pretty much your full attention, so don't drink too much. Like, ever. Ever if you're going to be speaking and possibly held accountable for what you say.


two It's okay to not like some people's company very much but you always have to be pleasant until you can make a sweet little diplomatic break from orbit. The Smile And Nod technique is employed here to great success. Be sure your eyebrows are raised (not too much) and you have the pleasant smile of a person who just thought about a white sandy beach while you gracefully excuse yourself. It's that easy. Then don't think about it anymore and repeat if necessary.


three If you shop at Walmart - don't tell me about it. I'm not asking you to lie, I just think you shouldn't tell me if you value the independent spirit of the mom and pop merchants who are the backbone of this country so little that you'd do that. I dunno. It's your life and all, but oh baby ninja - every thing you do matters. And, yea - I know these three things aren't always totally cool, but be glad you're not a grown up yet. 

© 2015 thesethreethings moemasters

BONUS THING: Learn to ask for help. I'm sure I"ll have more to say about this soon, but know that you have to learn this sooner than I did. Till then: CLICK HERE. Scary stuff.

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I love raindrops on roses and whatnot, but even more than that I totally dig finding dollars in clothes I haven't worn in ages, live music, social networking and search engine optimization, research, freecycle.com, homemade beer, home grown stuff, writing, talking, laughing, green movements, debate, dialog, dumpster diving, time travel, time-out chairs, psychology, meals that last for hours, pranks, astral projection, meaningful lives, the kindness of strangers, trains, trucks and tractors, cowboys, horses, deer, eagles, random occurrences, modern tragedies, small appliances, good socks and sturdy shoes, shiny objects, painting, playing stringed instruments and singing harmony, pulling perfect feather pillows out of the freezer on hot and humid Kansas summer nights, rodeos and county fairs, brokers, organics and authenticity, my kids, their kids and my huge extended family. I am a hugger and I probably laugh AND talk way too much.